10.17. 2010 : Phạm Út Quyên- Việt Nam

Journey to Our Hearts - words from a 23-year old journalist Quyen (pronounced QUINN) who spent a week traveling with us.

“I lost my soul, somewhere in the forest, the moment I gave the order to my troops to shoot a VC,” Tom said. He is one of the Vietnam Veterans who believe that a part of their soul left them in the war. When they fired at someone, when someone beside them died, either their buddies or their enemies, it took away apart of their hearts and their souls; the part that belongs to innocence, and goodness and humanity was sent forever roaming.

It’s so lucky for me, a Vietnamese girl who never walked though any wars, to have had a chance to join a journey of Vietnam Veterans (called American Veterans for the Vietnamese) led by Dr. Ed Tick of the Soldier’s Heart organization. They call this trip a journey home for the soldiers who return to their old battlefields in order to bring their souls back. But I call this trip the Journey to Our Hearts.

I was born in the time when my country was changing vigorously from the period of the Subsidy System to the period of Socioeconomic Renovation. I grew up with the stories of my grandpa when he was a soldier during the war. He fought for the independence of his country and the happiness of his people. I used to think it was full of glory to be a soldier. That was when I hadn’t realized all the wars were wrong, they were not supposed to happen. And no one in this world was supposed to be born to become a soldier. Though I am still proud of my grandpa for what he did, he would have had a better life if the war had never happened. He is a gentle man who just likes reading books, gardening and playing with his grandchildren.

I am the girl who has never believed in miracles, because I thought it meaningless to just stay still and pray for a miracle to happen to change the world. Every achievement a person gets in his life must be built by his own hands. But to join this journey, to know these people, and to witness the healing of their hearts is more than a miracle for me.

A miracle is when I see a man who was hurt so badly that he thinks his soul has left him can smile the smiles of healing and happiness again.

A miracle is when I see two men who used to fight on two opposite front lines hug each other tightly and make fun of themselves about the past: “If I met you forty years ago you would died for sure. Now the war is over, and we become friends.”

A miracle is when I see the happiness shining in the glittering eyes of John, a soldier who was forced to kill to keep from being killed when he is doing the job of healing and bringing life back to other people.

A miracle is Ralph, an old man with a leg broken by the war that still hurts him as the war still hurts his heart, fall down on his knees, take a handful of Vietnamese soil, recall the death of his old friends. “I couldn’t believe it,” he said. But “It’s over. Let them come home.”

Yes it’s over, the war and the obsession with it. Today all the hearts were healed!

A miracle is that in this world of billions of people, we have a chance to meet each other, to be come friends, brothers and sisters, father and daughter, to understand and warm each other heart.

A miracle is that you and I were born into this world to witness all of these miraculous things.

To soldiers from whom a part is still left in Vietnam, it’s time to come back, it’s time to take it home. Come here and ask every Vietnamese: “Do you forgive me for the things that I did to your country and your people?” You will get this answer: “You are forgiven.” no, this one: “You WERE forgiven” and a tight hug. For us, the war is over and now we are heading forward, so why don’t you?

Việt Nam, October 17, 2010

Phạm Út Quyên